Meanwhile, at CNN.com...

A feelgood story I'd actually much rather read than tales of prison killings. And equally newsworthy?

A black bear was found passed out at a campground in Washington state recently after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a campground worker said on Wednesday.
. . .
The hard-drinking bear, estimated to be about two years old, broke into campers' coolers and, using his claws and teeth to open the cans, swilled down the suds.
. . .
It turns out the bear was a bit of a beer sophisticate. He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his drinking binge. (full story here)

When the bear returned the next day, wildlife agents managed to capture him in a trap using donuts, honey, and... more Rainier Beer as bait. He was subsequently to be "relocated," which I presume means a job at Michael Jackson's Beer Hunter.